My career spanned 30 years and two states. We won over 500 games, qualified for four Final Fours, won a State Championship, and most recently lost a State Championship. Looking back on all those games and years, I’ve thought a lot about the takeaways. When people ask me for the one or two things I’d tell younger coaches, what should I say?

Surprisingly, after thinking a good deal about it, the answer isn’t offensive development, defensive scheme, out-of-bounds plays, or special-situation genius. I keep coming back to two things, and they go hand in hand. (I could fill a notebook with practical advice: be on time, see what needs to be done and do it before being asked, support other programs, don’t post stupid stuff on social media.) But if I’m held to two things, my advice would be this: create a great culture, and don’t be afraid to be silly to be serious.

Let’s tackle the second one, since culture could take hours to unpack. I learned in years 29 and 30 that being willing to be silly made it easier for us to be serious. It sounds weird, I know.

When I switched over to girls’ basketball after 28 years of coaching boys, I quickly realized my new team acted and thought differently than my boys’ teams had. They liked to laugh. They liked to share feelings and emotions. They liked to make TikToks and dance. They liked to be silly.

Needless to say, this tested and stretched me greatly. I was used to being serious and stern. Focused and intense. Now these girls wanted me to dance in their TikTok before practice. They wanted our team to dress up for Halloween. They wanted our team to dress up for homecoming. They wanted our team to dress up for anything!

What I found was that the more I gave in and let myself be silly and dress up with them, the more our relationship and our CULTURE (see advice item #1) grew into a powerful force. It also allowed me to be more serious and intense with them when it was time to be. The silliness was the key that opened the door to seriousness.

My willingness to be silly with them on their level allowed them to be serious with me on mine. I could push them and demand more and more as our relationship grew in trust and common interest. They saw I was all-in on being part of their world. As a result, they were all-in with me as I tried to build them into champions.

Our run to the 2024 State Championship game was magical and fun. But I don’t think any of it would have happened if I had been stubborn and refused to be silly with them in October and November. If I hadn’t been willing to join their dances and dress-up days, or if I hadn’t let them film TikToks in the hotel lobbies at Regionals and State because I thought it all had to be intense and serious, we probably wouldn’t have played relaxed and had fun. I think the silliness allowed us to be serious. And it was more enjoyable for me, too!

Although three of the four Final Fours and the State Championship came with boys’ programs, I would love to go back and see whether allowing a little more silliness at the right times, like I did with the girls, would have helped us be more dialed in or relaxed when it mattered. We will never know.

All I can do is share the advice with younger coaches in the game today. Your culture and your relationship with your team matter most. You can’t fully execute your scheme if you aren’t all dialed in together. Try getting your players dialed in to what you want by dialing in with them in their world. It will stretch you and test you. You might feel silly. But you might become a champion in your players’ eyes. In return, your players might dial in deeper to what you are pushing them to become. They might just become champions for you. Don’t be afraid to be silly to be serious!

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